I feel like I blinked and two months went by. Jayden Michael came into the world on April 27 at 5:50pm. It’s still hard to believe we are parents. You hear a lot of advice as a mom to be. I heard so many times over the years about the joys of having children. But of course, I didn’t really understand it until I had my son. There’s no way I could have understood. I think what has surprised me the most is how natural being Jayden’s mother feels. Right before he was born I started to doubt myself. Was I ready to be a mother? Would I bond with my child? Now that he’s here it seems silly really. I loved this little boy from the moment I saw him and my love is growing more by the day. I did not know I was capable of loving anyone quite this much.
And yet with all the love and joy that comes with a newborn, the first few weeks with a baby are not easy. I heard about that too, but it’s hard to really grasp the concept of it until you experience it yourself- the lack of sleep, the physical recovery from childbirth, the hormones. Oh, the hormones. After having Jayden, I was crying almost daily for the first two weeks. Happy and sad tears. Pretty much anything could set me off. Little by little, day by day, things got better and we are at a point where I feel a little more settled in this new role. For me, the good far outweighed the challenges. I still have no clue what I’m doing, but I am ready to keep trying and always do my best for Jayden.
Watching him discover the world around him week to week makes me so happy. He is starting to smile and every time he does I just fall to pieces. He loves playing on his playmat. There is one red fox he can’t get enough of. He stares at it and swats at it and I wonder what he’s thinking. I’m not sure he loves bath time yet, but he’s tolerant of it. The only place he wants to sleep is snuggled up against me. Maybe I should try harder to get him to sleep in his bassinet, but I love the snuggles just as much as he does and I know this won’t last forever.
Welcome to the world, little one. Thank you for bringing me the gift of motherhood.
Robe: PinkBlush Maternity